Conviction

Conviction

Main Entry: con•vic•tion
Pronunciation: \kuhn-vik-shuhn\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century
1: Th e act or process of convicting of a
crime especially in a court of law
2 a: Th e act of convincing a person of error
or of compelling the admission of a truth
b: the state of being convinced of error or
compelled to admit the truth
3 a: A strong persuasion or belief b: the
state of being convinced
Synonyms see certainty, opinion

Kevin Carter was the photographer who
captured a little Sudanese girl who was
crawling her way to a feeding centre all
while a vulture was watching and waiting
to devour her. Kevin snapped the photograph
(pictured above right) and shooed
the vulture away but there are no reports as
to what happened next to that little girl.

Kevin later suffered from depression and
until this day there are various speculations,
some say it’s because he chose not do anything
to save the girl and others say there
was nothing he could have done because
she was not the only famine victim. St.
Petersburg Times stated that Carter, “might
just as well be a predator, another vulture
on the scene.” Even some of Carter’s friends
wondered why he hadn’t helped the little
girl.

Whenever I think about this heart wrenching
picture I too wonder where Carter’s
heart and thoughts were. How could he not
have saved her or even at least tried? Th en
I begin to wonder what more I myself can
do, or what we as a community can do to
help those who are hungry, desperate for a
hand up or simply left in a desert or on a
curb to fi gure it out on their own. Th is may
not be Sudan but we are surrounded by
hurting people in need nonetheless.

Kevin Carter once said, “Everyone that
has been involved in these stories has been
aff ected. You become changed forever.”
I believe he is right. If I were to take you
along the riverbed at night, through the
back alleys or if we jumped together into
a dumpster, you would be changed.

If you were to sit in my car across the street and
watch as men solicit young girls for sex,
you would feel a conviction that is one
in which is hard to express on paper with
words. I know that it is because of a conviction
and a compassion that you posses that
you support me in this venture and for that
I will always remain thankful and humbled.

When I see street kids, sometimes I feel like
there is so much I still don’t understand and
yet I feel and live out a strong God-given
conviction that reminds me that at the end
of the line, when my life is over, I do not
want to have those regrets of not being
intentional about reaching out. I don’t want
to watch as the vulture in life (drugs, prostitution,
hunger, loneliness) wait to devour
those I have come to know and love.

Kevin Carter ended his life and his suicide
note was a litany of nightmares and dark visions,
a clutching attempt at an autobiography,
self-analysis, explanation, excuse. Th is
weekend I heard it said, “It’s what you do in
the dash” meaning that on your tombstone,
if mine were to say “1974 – ____” what
would I have accomplished in the “dash”,
the in-between years?

I know that with God’s conviction, guidance
and strength, I will continue in
whatever capacity He allows me, to reach
out and invest in what’s most important
because I want to leave a legacy behind that
represents God working through my life on
earth and not feel my life was full of excuse
or regret.